


Divulgence

by Clanty



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-08 02:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clanty/pseuds/Clanty
Summary: divulgence: the act or an instance of making known something previously unknown or concealed.





	1. Duplicity

**Author's Note:**

> du·plic·i·ty: d(y)o͞oˈplisədē/
> 
> noun: deceitfulness; double-dealing.

“Is this some sort of joke?” Lena’s voice was tight, her heart pounding in her chest. She gave no outward signs that she was a hair’s breadth away from having a full-blown panic attack; her turbulent emotions held in check by sheer willpower alone. Kara could hear the way Lena’s heart was racing and stepped forward, reaching out with glasses still in hand and button-up shirt open to reveal her super suit, to comfort her best friend. Her only thought was to reassure Lena that everything was the same as it had been ten minutes prior. “Because if so, it’s not funny.”

“Lena, it’s not a joke. Of course it’s not a joke. I’m Supergirl.” Kara’s voice shook as Lena recoiled from the comforting touch they both so desperately needed. This wasn’t how Kara had thought this would go. She’d envisioned some shared laughs over how silly her disguise was. She’d defend it and then they’d continue their lunch. This confrontation, this much raw hurt, it shouldn’t be happening like this.

“You lied to me,” Lena said, finally dragging her eyes from the symbol on Supergirl’s chest.  _ ‘No,  _ _ Kara’s _ _ chest.’ _ Lena’s darkest inner thoughts snarled and it took all the self-control she possessed to keep herself in the moment.

“No Lena, that’s not how it was…” Kara trailed off as green eyes ablaze with anger met blue eyes drowning in grief. 

“No Kara, that’s  _ exactly _ how it was. You couldn’t possibly trust a  _ Luthor _ with the knowledge that you’re a super. You couldn’t possibly trust your  _ best friend _ with the knowledge of who you are. If you didn’t trust me to keep it a secret or to help you as best I could, then you don’t know me  _ at all _ .” Lena turned to lean on her desk, chest heaving as she struggled to keep her composure.

“Lena, you don’t  understand…” Kara launched into what Lena was certain to be the first of many rambling explanations. She tuned the blonde out and focused on taking deep breaths, attempting to calm herself. After a long moment in her thoughts, she realized that Kara still hadn’t stopped speaking and she finally turned, CEO mask firmly in place. 

“That’s enough. I want you to leave.” Lena’s voice held the command of a woman who had turned a company around. Who had gone toe to toe with the Daxamites, Morgan Edge, and Reign and come out battered but stronger for it.

“Lena, you have to understand,” Kara stopped as Lena held up a hand.

“I do understand; I understand perfectly. We’re work acquaintances. You used your secret identity to get close to me so that you could keep an eye on me to make sure I wasn’t criminally insane like my brother. I’m not angry at you Supergirl. You were simply doing what your kind do best,  _ lying _ . I’m angry with myself for letting you fool me. Now, I’m only going to say this one more time and I want you to listen very carefully.  _ Get the fuck out of my office _ . And don’t come back.” Lena lifted an imperious brow as Kara stammered before shaking her head sadly, dislodging tears that streaked down her face before heading to the window. “I don’t think so. You came in here as Kara Danvers, so you can certainly leave the same way. We wouldn’t want the press to think I’d thrown a sunny junior reporter off the balcony. Imagine the negative press.” Kara had never heard Lena’s voice so cold, so calculating and mirthless. It made her heart clench in her chest knowing that she was the reason for the change. 

Defeated, Kara simply nodded,  slowly buttoned her shirt, placed her glasses back on her face then picked up her bag and pad of paper, realizing suddenly that she hadn’t completed her original objective for coming to L-Corp today. “Um, about that quote…” Kara asked hesitantly, hating herself for bringing it up. 

“I’ll have my publicist reach out to CatCo tomorrow, I think it’s best if they send another reporter. I won’t be speaking to you again, on or off the record.” Lena didn’t turn around as she heard the door close and pretended not to hear the quiet apology from Kara. Kara pretended not to hear Lena’s sobs begin as soon as she hit the elevator.

* * *

 

Alex looked up as she heard Kara woosh through the open window; she’d expected her little sister at some point this evening and knew immediately that her suspicion had been proven right. Kara had told Lena, and Lena had taken it badly. “Pizza and potstickers?” Alex offered gently, standing and holding her arms open to Kara who immediately fell into them sobbing. She shook her head slightly and Alex knew that this was far worse than she’d imagined. For Kara to not be hungry, things must be pretty dire. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do; you’re going to cry it out and then we’re going to figure out how to fix this.” The sniffling nod against her damp shoulder reassured Alex a bit and she led them to the couch, pulling a soft blanket over them and holding Kara as tight as she could.

Neither sister knew how long they’d sat there in front of the fire before Kara finally spoke, her voice hoarse from crying. “She hates me.”

“I doubt she hates you,” Alex reassured her, brushing a stray blonde curl out of Kara’s eyes. “It sounds like she’s devastated and feels stupid but I can’t imagine she hates you.” Alex’s certainty wavered slightly as Kara relayed the details of the reveal and the conversation that had ensued afterward. “Well, I think we...” Alex faltered as Kara’s story came to an end. She didn’t necessarily agree with the other woman’s reaction, nor that she’d made her little sister cry. But she did understand being hurt by a secret, and especially how much more it must affect the woman who had been betrayed by just about every person she’d ever been close to. “We need to fix this,” Alex said decisively, looking in surprise down at Kara who let out an incredulous snort. “What?”

“How, exactly, do you propose we fix this?” Kara demanded. “I ruined my friendship just so I could feel normal more often. I put her feelings behind mine and was a really terrible friend.” Kara’s pain was palpable in her voice.

“Will you ever do it again?” Alex asked and Kara shook her head. “Then that’s how, you tell her that you know you were wrong, explain why and tell her you’ll never do it again.”

“Alex, she never wants to talk to me again. I wouldn't even be able to get close enough to her in order to tell her that. What am I supposed to do, send a messenger?” Kara demanded then stopped abruptly and looked at Alex for a long moment.

“What?” Alex asked after several moments of intense scrutiny.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do. You have to go see Lena.” Kara said, nodding as though the decision had been made.

“I will not. You broke this, you fix it.” Alex said, knowing that it was a terrible idea for her to go see the CEO.

“Aleeeex, I need your help. You’re the only one who could get into see her. She’ll listen to you.” Kara wheedled, stopping just shy of begging. 

Finally succumbing to The Pout, Alex threw up her hands. “Fine. I’ll go talk to her. I’ll help you fix this. But Kara, you need to understand that Lena has been hurt and lied to by a lot of people. This is something that is more hurtful for her than it would have been for someone else. You crossed a line that is incredibly hard to come back from.”

“You’re the one who said I shouldn’t tell her,” Kara said, accusation heavy in her voice. 

“I said not to tell her when you first met her. You  _ know _ I’ve trusted Lena for a while now. She’s more than proven herself. You decided not to tell her to preserve your safe space.” Alex’s voice was hard and Kara wisely let it drop. For now.


	2. Concession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> con·ces·sion  
> kənˈseSHən/  
> noun  
> 1\. a thing that is granted, especially in response to demands; a thing conceded.

“Ms. Luthor? Agent Danvers is here to see you.” Jess’s voice came from the doorway. Lena took a moment and briefly considered turning the elder Danvers away before nodding at her assistant. 

“You can let her in,” Lena said, proud that her voice didn’t waver. 

“Should I push back your ten o’clock meeting?” Jess asked, and Lena glanced at the clock. It was 9:35, that should give her plenty of time to get Alex out of her office before the meeting. 

“No Jess, that won’t be necessary. Agent Danvers won’t be here very long.” Lena sat ramrod straight in her chair as Alex walked in and set a coffee on Lena’s desk. When she heard the door click shut behind Jess, Lena looked up at Alex and leaned back in her seat. Outwardly, the picture of calm but inwardly on the verge of panic. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk,” Alex said awkwardly, not entirely sure how to start. “Kara told me about your conversation and I thought you might need to talk about it.”

“I assume the NDA the DEO had me sign when I was helping with the Reign situation cover my knowledge of Supergirl’s identity. I assure you I won’t be telling anyone.” Lena’s voice broke, the only slight crack in her tough exterior. “I simply don’t have anyone to tell.”

“That’s not what I meant at all. That’s a lot of news to hear and Kara told me how upset you were,” Alex explained. 

“So you came to tell me to be nice to her?” Lena scoffed, “I should have expected as much from you. What a perfect way to remind me that none of you care for me outside of being friends with Kara.”

“Lena, that’s not true. You still have us. All of us. Kara made a mistake, but it’s not entirely her fault. If you need to blame anyone, you should blame me.” Alex said, her heart breaking for the brunette who felt she’d lost her entire circle of friends on the heels of Sam moving away.

“I don’t have  _ anyone _ I can trust. Don’t you understand that? You  _ all _ knew and kept it from me. You actively lied to me about Kara’s identity.” Lena hissed. Alex suddenly saw the depths of Lena’s pain and knew that a simple apology wasn’t going to be enough. Alex considered Lena for a long moment then steeled herself for what she was about to say. She looked down at her hands, unable to meet Lena’s eye and started speaking softly.

“Kara joined our family when I was a teenager. I didn’t want a sibling, I was perfectly happy being an only child. She did nothing but bring pain and discomfort and a level of complication that I didn’t want. My parents introduced this broken little girl as my new sister and I was just supposed to what? Love her immediately? I didn’t at first. But I learned to.” Alex took a steadying breath, then continued. “And then my life turned into a repeating loop of ‘protect Kara’, ‘look after Kara’,  and ‘why isn’t Kara dating?’ from my mother. Cadmus took my father to try to get to her, and it nearly killed all of us.” Alex looked at Lena. “I haven’t always liked having a sister. I don’t always agree with the things she does. But I’m always willing to lay down my life to protect her.” 

“As heart-wrenching as all that is Agent, what does that have to do with me?” Lena said, clinging to her anger like a shield. 

“From the second she stepped into my parent’s home, she’s been told to hide herself, hide who she is and fit in. Never to tell anyone her secret. My parents taught her that first and foremost.” Alex shifted on her feet, visibly uncomfortable being so open about her childhood. “I wasn’t any better. I told her to hide every astonishing thing about her, and I wish I could say that it was only for her own protection. But the truth is, I resented her. I had been special, been the only child and I resented her for taking that from me. Yet somehow, despite us doing all that, she still turned out to be the kindest, most giving person I’ve ever met. But she has a hard time sharing who she is with people. And that’s my fault.” Alex’s eyes met Lena’s for a moment before she once again trained them on her wringing hands.

“You told her specifically to lie to me for several years about who she is?” Lena asked, her heart breaking for the other woman but still not wavering in her anger.

“No, not you specifically. I told her to be careful about you, back before I knew you. I yelled at her for telling Winn when she did. I yelled at her for becoming Supergirl when she saved my life. I may not have masterminded this particular deception, but I damn sure contributed to her feeling that she could never tell anyone without dire consequences.” Alex almost shouted, her pent-up emotions almost getting the best of her.

“Agent Danvers,” Lena started softly and Alex shook her head. 

“I’m crying in your office, the least you can do is call me Alex.” She said with a wet chuckle as she used her shirtsleeves to scrub the tears from her cheeks. “The worst part of all this is that Kara knows exactly how you feel.” Alex took a steadying breath then continued. “She knows how you feel because I’ve lied to her twice; once to protect her and once to protect me. The first was when I told her I worked for the FBI; because she couldn’t know I was part of the DEO so I could keep her safe. The second time was because I’d killed her aunt, one of the last pieces of Krypton she had. I lied to her because I couldn’t handle the thought of losing her. I know my sister Lena, and I’d stake my life that she kept her identity from you for  _ both _ those reasons. You’re one of the best things to happen to my sister in a long time. Not just because you’re you but also because you let her just be  _ Kara _ . Once people know she’s Supergirl there are extra demands, I do it to her too. But she has always loved that she could just be herself with you.” Alex explained.

“Alex,” Lena said with a nod of acceptance, “I understand that Kara may have had what she felt were perfectly good reasons for not telling me. I’m sure you all did. But the fact remains that my best friend lied to me about who she was and so did everyone in her life. You all lied to my face to protect her secret.” Lena’s voice wavered and Alex suddenly understood with an almost blinding clarity.

“It was her secret to tell.” She said simply, echoing Lena’s words back at her and receiving an arched brow in response. Alex reached forward to put her hand over Lena’s that was tapping out a nervous staccato on the desk. “I know you might not think much of any of us right now, but we weren’t playing you for a fool. We were giving Kara the space to tell you when she felt was best. I’m sorry I didn’t encourage her to tell you sooner. I’m sorry that you had to learn her secret so late in your friendship. And I’m truly sorry that I contributed to your falling out with my sister. All I’m asking is that you hear her out.”

“I need time Alex. I’m not saying I’ll never speak to her again, but I just can’t face her right now. I don’t even know how much of our friendship was a lie to get close to me or how much of it was genuine.” Lena’s voice broke and it took every bit of self-control Alex possessed not to go around the table and pull Lena in for a hug.

“I think you’ll find that most of it was real, with small details used to hide who she really is. But that’s something for you to talk with Kara about.” Alex straightened and looked at Lena. “Thank you for seeing me today, I know I’m probably the second to last person you cared to see.” Lena’s lips quirked into a small smile at the truth in that statement. “If it’s alright, I’d like to check in on you again soon,” Alex held up a hand to forestall Lena’s immediate protest. “Not because Kara wants me to and not because I’m going to try to persuade you to forgive her. Believe it or not, I’ve gotten used to having you around.” Lena nodded, clearly surprised at Alex’s words. “I’m glad you agree,” Alex looked over when she heard a knock at the door. “I believe that’s my queue to leave. I’ll see you in a few days. Just think about what I said, and enjoy your meeting.” Alex offered the last bit over her shoulder with a cheeky grin as she headed to the door, opening it just as Jess was reaching to the handle. “Have a nice day you two,” Alex left the office and Jess looked after her, bewildered.

“Ms. Luthor, your meeting starts in 10 minutes, I thought you’d like to have a few minutes to prepare,” Jess glanced at the door as she laid the relevant folders on Lena’s desk. “She is certainly something,” Her tone left some question as to whether or not she meant that in a good way.

Lena let loose a full-throated laugh that surprised them both. “Yes she is Jess, she certainly is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to my amazing sister for her edits. This story wouldn't be anything without her.


	3. Attonement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a·tone·ment  
> əˈtōnmənt/  
> noun  
> 1\. reparation for a wrong or injury.

“You said you were going to talk to her,” Kara swooped in through Alex’s window, startling her out of the science journal she was reading. “You said you were going to fix it!”

“Well hello to you too Kara. Why yes, Kara, I did go to L-Corp early this morning and talk to the best friend you hurt. And yes, I did plead your case and explain to her why you felt you had to lie to her,” Alex stood up, and turned to face the Kryptonian who had stopped in her tracks at the irritation in Alex’s voice. “So how about you fly out of here, come around to the front door and ask me about it like a normal person.” Alex pointed at the window and Kara looked at her for a long moment then flew back out of the window.

With a shake of her head, Alex headed over and poured herself a few fingers of the good whiskey that Lena had gotten her for Christmas that year, and took a long swallow of it before she heard a knock on the door. She checked through the peephole then let Kara in. “I’m sorry,” Kara said, looking sheepish as she walked into Alex’s apartment in her regular clothes. “I just stopped by L-Corp while I was on patrol and she told me that she wasn’t ready to talk to me yet, and that it was going to take her time.”

“What did you expect?” Alex asked incredulously.

“I don’t know, I thought we’d get dinner like we usually do or something,” Kara shrugged and Alex scoffed. “What?”

“I know that you can be oblivious sometimes, but you just thought I’d talk to Lena this morning and then tonight you’d have potstickers together? Jesus Kara, you can’t be that oblivious. I told you she said she needed time!” Alex pointed at Kara threateningly. “Leave her be for a week or two, text her to say hi if you absolutely can’t handle it but leave her be.”

“Who’s side of this are you on?” Kara demanded, arms crossed over her chest.

“Who’s side?” Alex glared at her sister. “There are no sides Kara. There are just two women who are both hurting, but only one of you had a hand in causing that hurt. I did talk to Lena, and I tried to explain a bit of why you felt like you had to keep being Supergirl from her. And she seems to get it, but that doesn’t change the fact that she feels betrayed. Sometimes people just need a little time to work through stuff like this. This doesn’t go on your timeline, it goes on hers.”

“But I miss her,” Kara had The Pout in full force and for the first time in a very long time, it stirred nothing in Alex.

“I’m sure you do. She misses you too, but you have to give her space. I’m serious about this Kara, if you do more than text her very occasionally I’ll kick your ass,” Kara was surprised to find that Alex meant every word of it.

“Do you think she’s ever going to forgive me?” Kara asked quietly and Alex realized just how harsh she had been to her sister. She knew better than to lay into Kara like this, but she’d just felt so protective of Lena that she let it get the best of her. Lena felt like she’d lost everything through no fault of her own and it was clearly devastating to the CEO. She’d lost so much in her life and it made Alex’s chest ache to think that she’d had a hand in taking even more from her.

“Yes, I think she will. But you have to prepare yourself in case she doesn’t. She’s hurt Kara, really badly and doesn’t know if she can trust any of us. I’m going to check in on her in a few days and see how she’s doing and I think I should have a better idea of how she feels.”

“Oh good, you can talk her into talking to me,” Kara said with a blinding smile and Alex’s ire returned full force.

“I’m not going to talk her into anything. We’re going to give her all the space she asks for, and that’s that.”

“So you get to talk to her, but I don’t?” Kara demanded.

“She agreed to let me check in on her. I don’t know why she agreed Kara, but I’m going to do my best to keep an eye on her,” Alex scrubbed a hand over her face, feeling worn thin from her day’s work as well as the two emotionally draining conversations she’d had today. “Look, I’m going to do my best but we can’t rush this Kara. I have to go meet someone, I’ll talk to you later,” Alex pulled on her favorite leather jacket then left Kara alone in her apartment. She headed downtown to one of her favorite bars. She wanted to get drunk and get in a fight. Or make out with someone. Maybe both. Anything to take her mind off the conversation she’d had with Lena this morning and how badly her sister was dealing with all this.

* * *

 

Alex couldn’t remember the last time she’d been quite this drunk. Sure, she’d found herself at various levels of inebriation over the years but she couldn’t quite remember being this drunk or feeling quite this awful about herself. She stumbled out of the bar and dialled the first number on her phone, starting to talk as soon as the line connected. “I need you to come pick me up. I’m at our usual spot down on 2nd.” The voice on the other end began to speak and Alex cut them off. “Look Kara, I know you’re pissed at me for not fixing this but just come pick me up,” Alex hung up on the phone then flopped down on a bench so she could wait for her sister to come pick her up. She was almost passed out when she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up blearily. “Took you long enough,” She groused, standing and nearly retching.

“Well, since I’ve never been here it took me a moment to find you,” Lena’s voice was sharp but tinged with humor and when Alex’s brain caught up to the fact that it was NOT the voice she’d expected to hear her eyes went comically wide.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, pulling away and staggering a little, frowning when Lena grasped her by the bicep again but was thankful for the help with her balance.

“You called me,” Lena said, helping her into the passenger seat of her car and handing her a trash bag.

“I don’t throw up when I drink, I just pass out,” Alex said disdainfully then nodded once proudly before promptly passing out.  

When Alex blearily opened her eyes sometime later, blinding sunlight caused her to snap them shut again and groan, throwing an arm over her eyes. “So you are alive,” A wry voice came and Alex sat up suddenly, eyes searching for the owner of the voice and stomach protesting the sudden movement.

“Lena? What are you doing here? Where am I?” Alex asked, catching a glance at the brunette before covering her eyes with her hands.

“You’re at my apartment. Do you remember calling me last night?” Lena asked and when Alex looked over at her again the sunlight had been tempered by automatic shades coming down from the ceiling.

“No, I called Kara. I went to the bar, couldn’t drive home and I called Kara,” Alex said, frowning as she tried to remember the events of the night before.

“You called me, and when I tried to explain that I was not your sister you cut me off and hung up,” Lena smiled gently, clearly amused and not annoyed about it.

“I’m sorry Lena, I should go.” Alex stood, steadied herself for a moment then looked around for the door. 

“At least have some coffee first. Then I’ll call my driver to take you home,” Lena set her book down on the coffee table and unfolded herself from the chair. “The bathroom is down the hall, first door on the right if you want to freshen up.”

Alex nodded then stood and staggered down the hallway into the well appointed bathroom and used provided toiletries that were fancier than anything she’d had ever used before. After washing her face and brushing her teeth she felt a bit better though her hangover stubbornly persisted. She headed back out into the living room and then following the tantalizing aroma of coffee to the kitchen. “That smells amazing.”

Lena turned and Alex was suddenly acutely aware of how attractive Lena looked at home in her element. Navy sweatpants that looked softer than anything Alex had ever seen ended above bare feet that sported a bright red pedicure. An equally soft looking cream colored cardigan slouched off one shoulder, revealing a tempting glimpse of a well formed collar bone that Alex suddenly itched to touch to see if it was as soft as the clothing looked. Her dark hair was pulled into a messy bun and without makeup Lena looked younger than she normally did in her CEO gear. “I have some scones in the oven if you want to wait, they shouldn’t take too much longer to bake.” Lena pushed a lock of hair that had escaped her bun out of her face and left a smear of flour on her cheek. Without thinking Alex reached up and brushed it away with a tender touch before pulling back abruptly as the touch sent unexpected tingles through her hand and arm.

“I, uh,” Alex backed away abruptly and dropped her hand to her side. “I should actually get going. Thank you for picking me up.”

“Is everything okay? You should stay, get some food and coffee into you. It will help with the hangover,” Lena said, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand on Alex’s bicep. Alex stiffened as she felt electricity from the touch again and Lena pulled back as though burned. “I’m sorry,” Lena’s voice sounded sad.

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Alex gave Lena a small smile. “I’m just super hungover and everything feels like just a little bit too much,” Alex lied, unable to admit that she had felt something between them; with her sister’s estranged best friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this early because I'll be out of town on Monday but chapters will resume on Mondays going forward. Also, sorry for any weirdness, I'm posting from my phone for the first time ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clanty
> 
> Any and all reviews/comments/kudos/constructive criticism are more than welcome.
> 
> As always, credit to my girlfriend, sister, and friends for helping me wrangle this into something semi-readable. Every edit helps. Blame them for errors :D


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